He's hot. I can just tell. I see that picture and I think, "Gee, if I saw him somewhere I would probably have sexual thoughts about him and then approach his leg to hump and then stop myself because that would be inappropriat;ealkjs."
Yes, I bang on the keyboard when I can't spell things in my thoughts, too.
I read his diary a lot because he's always in adam's diary, which is supremo ultimo kEwl, and I've been reading it forever now. While I'm recording this, I may as well add that I am planning to, at a time that is perhaps NOT six fucking am in the fucking morning, join this gang. This is despite the fact that I'm too cool for webrings and gangs, but the truth is that I DO enjoy to getting drunk and killing things. Yes.
(EL LINK: el boy monkey DATED: Wednesday, September 27, 2000 TIME: 05:46 a.m.)
I could make a plethora of jokes about this chick's URL (last brain cell) as I read her Sept. 19th entry, but it would just be too obvious.
This is beautiful, really. This honkey bitch hates 'those menacing black people' because she believes that they are all "idiotic, hopeless chemically-dependent monkeys with no future". I got news for you, cracker. 3/4 of the human race fits in to that description. There is trash of all shades, my dear, and you illustrate my point beautifully.
Ha, don't you love it when twits like this one go "Well, a lot of my friends are black." AHAHAHAH. That kills me. And then! Then in the next breath say that you "wish they'd all go back to Africa".
Yes, and I wish you'd hop the fuck back on the Mayflower and get out of my country.
(EL LINK: lastbraincell.com DATED: Wednesday, September 20, 2000 TIME: 10:45 a.m.)
AHAHSDKFL. I feel the same way.
You know, I used to write things like that. Now I'm just some stupid contrived emo drivel person.
Okay, Lilah. Self esteem needs a raisin.
(EL LINK: AHAHSDF. haha. DATED: Monday, September 18, 2000 TIME: 11:59 p.m.)
Sexy name, sexy site.
(EL LINK: moronic.org DATED: Sunday, September 17, 2000 TIME: 12:14 p.m.)
And this is EXACTLY why this page owns you, your dog, and all of your underwear:
"I've been wandering the web aimlessly trying to find a weblog to temporarily fill the gap but unfortunately EVERYONE OUT THERE IS ABOUT AS BORING AS WATCHING GRASS GROW. And then they are like "Oh, but isn't my layout so foxy?" and I am like, "YEAH BUT TOO BAD YOU SUCK." For foxy layouts do not get you daily visits."
(EL LINK: smileasshole.com DATED: Saturday, September 16, 2000 TIME: 10:12 p.m.)
Check this out - this is the coolest banner I've ever seen.
(EL LINK: Shocking, really. DATED: Monday, September 11, 2000 TIME: 09:43 p.m.)
Now that's clever.
(EL LINK: dancing yoko! DATED: Sunday, September 10, 2000 TIME: 07:06 p.m.)
How I do hate those who are always busting somebody's balls. You're not funny, witty, or even half clever.
(EL LINK: Oh, just shut up already. DATED: Saturday, September 9, 2000 TIME: 01:37 a.m.)
This is the best page I have ever been to. EVER. EVER EVER EVER. Not only is it non-partial, but it draws a distinct line between fact and accusations. WHY, WHY, WHY WOULD YOU NOT GO HERE?! THESE ARE THINGS THAT WILL AFFECT YOUR LIFE IN THE NOW! THIS IS PROBABLY THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT ELECTION IN YEARS! WE WILL ALL PERISH IN THE FIREY PIT THAT WE WILL COME TO KNOW AS AMERICA IF BUSH IS ELECTED!! WHY DO YOU NOT COMPREHEND!?!?
Thanks to my libido for the link, because that's the most useful page on the internet.
(EL LINK: REALCHANGE.ORG DATED: Tuesday, September 5, 2000 TIME: 06:50 p.m.)
Hey, here's a question. Why is sarah looking at really fucking stupid BME personals in the first place??!?!
(EL LINK: biseckshual = cual DATED: Tuesday, September 5, 2000 TIME: 01:43 a.m.)
Well, I, for one, can't wait!
(EL LINK: A Note From God DATED: Saturday, September 2, 2000 TIME: 11:38 p.m.)
CARE. CARE WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY. CARE.
(EL LINK: Hello, you brainless bunch of bimbos DATED: Saturday, September 2, 2000 TIME: 09:45 p.m.)
Any of you fine men looking for a companion for the night?
(EL LINK: Large Junk Support Group DATED: Wednesday, August 30, 2000 TIME: 01:13 a.m.)
Or something. I was just thinking about how whenever I listen to Saves the Day, I think of adam. I'm trying to remember why, and I think it was because he kind of looks like the singer. And then there was this time when we were talking about music, and he said that once you have Saves the Day, you don't really need Lifetime anymore. FEH!
Two completely different bands, my boy. Sure, sure, I hear the Lifetime influence, but who came first? Lifetime! Who are the better lyricists? Debatable, but I have to go with Lifetime. And musicians, it's gotta go to Lifetime, just because I like messy guitars. I like STD a lot, I'm even going to see them at Irving Plaza in about a week, but Lifetime ‡‡ Saves the Day.
What the hell was I saying, again?
(EL LINK: TONIGHT I WILL REDEFINE EVERYTHING DATED: Wednesday, August 30, 2000 TIME: 12:46 a.m.)
MY MOM IS A "fat fucking jew"! Actually, she's a formerly fat Arab. But whatever.
You know my mommy had a 23 inch waist when she was going out with my pops? Ick. That's gross. Then we moved in to my grandma's house after my father finished vet school and everybody got fat because we lived off of strawberry qwik. And now she lost it and now she's a smaller size than me, which is depressing. When a 43 year old woman has got at least two pants sizes on you, that's sad.
Kill me.
(EL LINK: HEY! DATED: Monday, August 28, 2000 TIME: 04:15 p.m.)
He lists his dislikes as "onions, peppers, [and] white supremists". That made me smile.
(EL LINK: yeah, me too. DATED: Sunday, August 27, 2000 TIME: 12:11 a.m.)
Here's something I'm sick of - pity me pages. Look, I understand that you have not had the best life - I'd have probably offed myself if I went through what you have, okay? But it just seems cheesy and attention hungry to advertise one's problems, parade them around like a badge. Everybody has got a relatively fucked up life when you talk to them about it long enough. And then you pan the camera over to Cambodia or something and Daddy leaving when you were two doesn't seem so devastating to you anymore.
Keep it in perspective, kids. Now I'm going to cook me some eggs.
(EL LINK: VULVA! DATED: Thursday, August 24, 2000 TIME: 01:18 p.m.)
DAMMIT. Everybody sucks. How could you people just SELL OUT LIKE THAT?!! SELL OUTS! THE LOT OF YOU! SUMPF! I'M GOING TO THE MALL NOW AND SPENDING MONEY BECAUSE I'M SO UPSET. YOU SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE?!
(EL LINK: Cara! Where for art thou? DATED: Wednesday, August 23, 2000 TIME: 01:48 p.m.)
I just bid on a whold bunch of shit from e-bay. Damn me. It's tempting to tell you all the cool stuff I'm trying to win, but I know you, you little bastards, you'll outbid me just to spite me. I hate you people. You're no fun.
(EL LINK: e-bay! DATED: Wednesday, August 23, 2000 TIME: 01:33 p.m.)
